OVERCOMING EMOTIONAL PAIN | Zion Christian Ministry

OVERCOMING EMOTIONAL PAIN

We are broken people, living in a broken world, interacting with other broken people. We are impacted by stresses, pressures, traumas, losses, heartbreaks, by situations we have created and by situations beyond our control. We seek to live meaningful lives but are weighed down by emotional pain. What is the answer? In this writing I will attempt to peel back some of the layers of emotional pain and share ideas that I am trying myself to help me in my journey to overcome.

The first answer to the question “What is the answer?” will always be “Jesus is the answer.”Coming to Jesus Christ, in a moment of prayer, where you express your faith in Him, repent of your sins and express your desire to become His follower will result in an inward change called conversion. Being converted to Christian faith and confessing Jesus Christ as Saviour and Lord will bring a transformation to your life that is real and deep. If you have not yet done this, this is the most important step for you to take, not only in your journey to overcome emotional pain, but for your whole life course.

Just as we need Jesus, at the point of our conversion, we need Him our whole life journey long. This is because life is complicated and filled with unexpected twists and turns. Whether you are a Christian or not, you will experience hurt along the way, throughout these many twists and turns. We can and should, come to Jesus and our Heavenly Father again and again and receive from Him forgiveness, healing, restoration and peace. This is all a part of the relationship that we have with our God.

If you believe that a believer should never experience personal brokenness but rather that conversion will wipe away any and all emotional pain and struggle for the rest of your life, I am sorry but you are going to be disappointed. It is not that way. Yes, at conversion Jesus makes all things new. He wipes away our many sins so that we are justified before God and totally forgiven. This is our great start to our new life. Next we have years of life that follow in which we journey through this world, hand in hand with Jesus. He experienced great suffering and emotional pain as He walked this earth. We experience emotional pain as well. He has actually never stopped experiencing emotional pain, because He now is touched with the feelings of our infirmities.

For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.
Hebrews 4:15

For the Christian believer, life becomes one long journey of receiving and experiencing God’s love and healing and also trying to share that love and healing with others.

Wherever God’s love and healing is not received, this is where brokenness is felt. It is felt and it builds up in unhealthy ways. This is where we need to open our hearts again to Jesus and to our Heavenly Father, who are there for us and have never left us this whole time.

Stumbling and brokenness also results where we begin believing the messages of our enemy instead of believing the voice of our Lord. When start agreeing with thoughts of fear, bitterness, condemnation, hate, etc., we encounter a stumbling experience in our path. This stumbling experience often leaves us with brokenness and emotional pain. These stumbling experiences are something we get up from time and time again as Jesus graciously lifts us up to our feet and we yield to Him.

Recognizing our personal brokenness is not about dwelling in defeat. Rather, it is about walking in humility, walking in forgiveness, walking in surrender to God and being teachable and moldable.

Prayer: Heavenly Father I am realizing now that my heart needs healing from emotional pain and brokenness. I come to you for Your love and Your healing. I choose to forgive all who have hurt me.Take me on a heart-healing journey with You. I want to live in a healthy heart-space. Lord Jesus I come to You because God has sent You to; “…heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised,” (Luke 4:18)I am bruised. I bring You my heart for You to work on. Please take it and transform it. Please give me beauty for ashes, like only You can do. I know that this is a process. I am ready to begin this process. Thank You for leading me onward. In Jesus’ name.

A few foundational truths to help gain the right perspective:

God is more concerned about our relationship with Him than with our religious performance of duties.
God wants us to yield every area of our life to Him.
We need to have quality time and space cleared away so that the process of our healing journey can commence.
We need to receive God’s love for us and His healing for us.
This will take however long it takes. We are in it for the long-haul with God.

We need God to heal our dull hearts. Jesus made this observation about some of the crowds that were present when He was ministering;

And in them the prophecy of Isaiah is fulfilled, which says:

‘Hearing you will hear and shall not understand,
And seeing you will see and not perceive;
For the hearts of this people have grown dull.
Their ears are hard of hearing,
And their eyes they have closed,
Lest they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears,
Lest they should understand with their hearts and turn,
So that I [b]should heal them.’

Matthew 13: 14-15 NKJ Version (Footnote [b] NU, M would)

Our hearts get dulled from the many blows of life and from processing these blows wrongly. Our hearts get worn down from the way that we are thinking and living. With this wear and tear our heart-hearing, our heart-understanding and our heart-sight diminishes. The good news is that we can turn to Jesus and receive healing. Jesus immediately follows these words with the following commendation and blessing to his disciples; “But blessed are your eyes for they see, and your ears for they hear;” (Matthew 13:16 NKJ Version) This healing involves hearing Jesus.

Prayer: Lord Jesus I have a dull heart. It has been worn down. It doesn’t perceive like it should, hear like it should, understand like it should, love like it should, forgive like it should. Forgive me for allowing this deterioration. Forgive me for my unbelief, which has led to its hardening. Forgive all of my transgressions against You. Help me to deeply and fully forgive all who have transgressed against me, I choose to do so. Now please transform my heart. Mend it together. Bless me with eyes that see and ears that hear. Then help me to start thinking and living from my heart. Thank You. In Jesus name. Amen

Another great hurt in life comes from not just what has happened to us but also from what has not happened to us or for us, which we needed for our life. Every person needs to be loved and nurtured from a young age. Every person needs healthy, affirming relationships. Every person needs to enter into a relationship with God. Every person needs to be forgiven for our wrongs. Every person needs to have a sense of security develop. Every person needs a sense of identity (positive identity). Every person needs a sense of purpose. Every person needs direction and equipping for our future. Every person needs good opportunities to step into. When these things haven’t occurred, or insufficiently occurred, there is a sense of loneliness and emptiness that develops and becomes deeply felt.

Prayer: Heavenly Father, I have lacked some key elements to the healthy development of my person or personhood. I recognize that I have lacked the love, nurture and guidance that would have developed my sense of security, identity, purpose, affirmation and further development. This has resulted in an inner hollowness. I am asking for You to fill the void. I am asking for the kind of relationship with You that will complete me and will fill me with purpose and fresh vision. Let me see what my life can be when it is lived from the centre of Your will. In Jesus name. Amen

Humility is needed at every step of this healing journey.

“… be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.” ( 1 Peter 5:5) Humility is saying “I don’t have it all together.” Humility is saying “I don’t understand.” Humility is saying “I need God.” Humility is saying “I need help.” Other people recognize if we are humble or not. If we are, they will feel safe around us and will be more trusting of us. Most importantly though, God sees our humility and responds to it with grace.

Prayer: Heavenly Father I choose to humble myself before you and be honest. You are great. I am small. I am in need of You and of Your healing. I submit myself to You and surrender to Your leading. Come and fill my heart and life, every area. I am Yours to direct and guide. I choose to fully receive the work of Christ. Transform me. Thank you. In Jesus name.

Another part of humility is going backto basics. That is, humility is going back to the foundational aspects of our faith and repairing them. It is starting again with faith, hope and love. It is starting again with worship and prayer. It is starting again with scripture reading and scripture absorption.

One source of emotional pain is life traumas. Traumas are sudden negative events that impact us in a hurtful way. They are a shock to our system.

They may include;

Violent assault
Sexual assault
Accidents/injuries
Being ignored and neglected at an especially needful time of life
Mugging or robbery
Being a victim of or witness to violence
sudden death of family or loved one
Being fired
Police or government action against you
Military combat incident
A betrayal
Childbirth
Medical trauma
Life threatening illness or diagnosis or perceived life threatening illness

Childhood emotional abuse
Domestic violence
Being humiliated
Abandonment
Verbal abuse
Coercion
Domestic physical abuse
Sudden financial loss
Sexual abuse
Emotional abuse
Witnessing harm done to others

(List taken primarily from https://traumapractice.co.uk/types-of-trauma/ and The Heart Healing Journey)

Any of the above mentioned things can make a deep impression on us and leave an emotional scar.

Many of us are living with a love deficiency. God’s love is the biggest healing agent to all of our emotional pain. What does God’s love for us look like? Scripture says; “Love is patient, love is kind, …” (1 Corinthians 13:4NASB) Our Heavenly Father is both patient with us and kind towards us. Jesus says; “Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.” (Matthew 11:29) Jesus is our safe place where we can go to find rest and He is our example to learn from.

Prayer: Heavenly Father I thank You that nothing that I have experienced in my life is too hard for You to heal. You are a safe and loving Father. I embrace Your safety. I embrace Your love. Today I let go of all of the hurt and shame that I have experienced and ask You to heal me. I choose not to let trauma take away from me the good things that You want for me. Bring Your healing touch to the damaged places of my heart. I surrender to You all of my fear, shame, rejection and self-pity. I accept Your peace and healing. Let me settle into Your rest. I receive it. Thank You. What a loving God You are.In Jesus’ name.

What about truth? Isn’t truth sharp, pointed and challenging? Yes, but the scriptures say; “But speaking the truth in love, …” (Ephesians 4:13) Truth was meant to be spoken in love, encapsulated and encased in love, making it easier to receive. Mark Dejesus describes truth by itself being kind of like a live, exposed wire, which if touched will give off a shock. However, when metal wire is encased in a conduit of rubber, it becomes usable because we can now handle it. Love is like that rubber casing that lets us handle truth.

God wants to deliver His truth to us in love and for us to use it in this way also.

God’s truth in and under the Old Covenant came with a lot of weight and force. In fact Paul refers to it as “… the ministry that brings condemnation …” (2 Corinthians 3:9 Amplified Bible) Then in the same verse he refers to the New Covenant as “… the ministry that brings righteousness …” (2 Corinthians 3:9 Amplified Bible) Now that we are living under the New Covenant of God’s grace, we should be receiving from the ministry that brings righteousness rather than the ministry that brings condemnation.

Prayer: Heavenly Father forgive me for all of my Pharisaical ways and for all of my self righteousness. I choose to rely on the righteousness of Jesus Christ, which is imparted to me. I thank You for this. Thank you for righteousness and not condemnation. I repent of trusting in myself and for walking in so much condemnation, when all the while Your love and righteousness has been available to me. Thank You. In Jesus name.

I am writing about overcoming emotional pain and about living in a place of emotional health. Many people criticize Christians or even fellow believers as being too emotional. Often this is a way of covering emotional pain that is still there, buried within. There is a denial which says I can ignore the pains of life and I am just fine. The problem is that many of us harden ourselves so that we don’t feel emotion deeply. When we do this we have lost a part of ourselves. Also we are deceiving ourselves because those suppressed emotions do not disappear, they go somewhere within us only to re-surface later in negative ways. This is why we need to face our pain and let God heal it.

Prayer: Heavenly Father You are a God who feels emotion deeply. You have created me in Your image and so I am affected by emotions as well. I want to live in a place of emotional health.I surrender my emotions to You. Where I need healing, I ask you to heal me. Where I need processing skills to manage my emotions, please equip me. Where I need a new focus, show me. Where I have suppressed emotions, show me. Where I need to forgive others, show me and I do.

Help me to guard my heart, where it needs guarding and help to let go, where I need to let go. I want to live more connected to this heart that You gave me. Cause me to live a full life from an alive heart that is healthy and free. I know that You are with me. Thank You. In Jesus name.

It is okay to grieve. Jesus said; “Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4) Grieving over loss, especially over the loss of a family member or over a loved one, is right and good. Grieving releases emotion that needs to be emptied out of us. There is no set time limit on grieving. It is different for all of us. It is needed. It is a way of clearing the heart. Jesus blesses the mourner with comfort.

Prayer: Lord Jesus my heart is broken over the loss of _______. I feel much sorrow and I choose to mourn it out. Thank You for caring, for being “… touched with the feeling of our infirmities …” (Hebrews 4:15). I acknowledge that loss is a part of life. I release this emotion and empty it out. After this please fill my heart with Your love and healing. I receive the blessing for those who mourn. May I come through this experience a deeper person in the end. Thank You.

There is healing in “stillness.” Stillness is getting out of the rat-race, finding solitude and making quality time for God. It is like a pit stop. We need to slow down. Unfortunately our culture has trained us to be like hamsters on a hamster wheel, running furiously, going in circles. The go-go-go needs to go and be replaced with stillness. “Be still, and know that I am God: …” (Psalms 64:10) In Psalms 23:2 the LORD leads us “… beside the still waters.” where; “He restoreth my soul: …” (vs 3) God wants to do a deep work within us but usually we are too busy. I am as guilty of this as anyone else. However, I am learning and trying to make this change.

Hope deferred is a major source of emotional pain. Scripture says; “Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.” (Proverbs 13:12) Hope deferred is when you have a dream or a vision of your life purpose and although you have set out to fulfill it, years and years and years go by and you have not yet attained to it. Life is full of waiting. However, hope deferred is excessive waiting and delays and obstacles that start to smother out your dreams because you feel like your life is running out. It’s that realization that ten years of struggle has not moved the needle very much and now you are ten years older and have less energy than at the start. If you dwell on it, hope deferred can be intensely depressing. There is no easy answer to this dilemma either. However; “… but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.” When you do eventually break through, there is a great relief. All we can do is come to our Heavenly Father with our hope deferred and surrender our situation, our life and our future to Him. He understands. We have to trust that He will work out His will for our lives in His time. This is easier said than done. I know.

Prayer: Heavenly Father I am suffering from hope deferred heart-sickness. I come to You again with my plans, my goals and with my future. I come to you with the giant hump that I am trying to get over. I lay all of this down before You and confess that I need patience. I also need Your strong hand to move obstacles that may have been preventing my progress up until now. I trust You that You know exactly what You are doing with my life and I can just rest and lean on You. Help me to seek first Your kingdom and Your righteousness and in time all other things that I need“… shall be added unto you.” (Matthew 6:33) In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Prayer: Heavenly Father. Let my life now be characterized by love, joy, peace, forgiveness, rest and surender. In Jesus’ name. Amen

References:

Dejesus, Mark. The Heart Healing Journey. Turning Hearts Ministries, 2019.

Types Of Trauma

Dejesus, Mark. I Will Not Fear. 2018 Turning Hearts Ministries.

Scriptures taken from The King James Version.

Scripture also taken from:Amplified Bible (AMP)